We Just Can't Help It
So, on the way to church this morning BJ says to me, my friend S is small. I reply without thinking, Yes, but so is S's mom. BJ looks at me with her big eyes and this long expectant pause.
I say - do you want to hear this? Do you want to know about L?
BJ says yes. No heaviness, just yes. So I proceed.
L is (height) which is about the same as me, she is very slender - so you will likely be as well. She has (color) hair and (identifying mark). BJ giggles at identiying mark.
I said, I know, I think that kind is sort of cool. I don't personally care for tatoos, but I think that choice is sort of cool.
BJ: How do you know this?
Me: From the form she filled out for you.
BJ says - I want to ask you ONE questions. ONE Quesion?! She is animated and joyful.
OK, whats that.
What is L's birthmark (BJ has a small birthmark that in a place she can't see easily but its come up a few times in the last six months). I don't think she has one, or if she does its not on the paper. When it asks about identifying marks, that is where you would put it, but she just wrote the identifying mark. (confused look from BJ) Not everyone has a birthmark honey, I don't have one.
Conversation ends naturally and peacefully as we pull into the church parkinglot. BJ and I get out of car and she grabs my had as I walk and she skips into church.
I guess following her lead means minute by minute :)
I say - do you want to hear this? Do you want to know about L?
BJ says yes. No heaviness, just yes. So I proceed.
L is (height) which is about the same as me, she is very slender - so you will likely be as well. She has (color) hair and (identifying mark). BJ giggles at identiying mark.
I said, I know, I think that kind is sort of cool. I don't personally care for tatoos, but I think that choice is sort of cool.
BJ: How do you know this?
Me: From the form she filled out for you.
BJ says - I want to ask you ONE questions. ONE Quesion?! She is animated and joyful.
OK, whats that.
What is L's birthmark (BJ has a small birthmark that in a place she can't see easily but its come up a few times in the last six months). I don't think she has one, or if she does its not on the paper. When it asks about identifying marks, that is where you would put it, but she just wrote the identifying mark. (confused look from BJ) Not everyone has a birthmark honey, I don't have one.
Conversation ends naturally and peacefully as we pull into the church parkinglot. BJ and I get out of car and she grabs my had as I walk and she skips into church.
I guess following her lead means minute by minute :)
posted by marlene at 4:18 PM
6 Comments:
wow. huge hugs marlene. to both of you.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Marlene, I've just caught up on all your blog posts! I'm going to be linking you on my sidebar, I hope you don't mind.
My son is 2 years old and I have so many questions on how to handle the reality of his adoption with him. I really appreciate the insight you give me with your daughter. I especially like your realization that you need to "know your child" to know what will work best with them.
Thanks for sharing. I'll be checking back frequently!
Marlene, I just got warm and fuzzy inside reading this. How lucky is BJ to have you for a Mum!
When people read my book, 'Beyond the Red Door' (available at my website www.beyondthereddoor.com), they always comment on what a fantastic Mum I had. I wrote you a note on Mia's blog about the great things my a/parents did, and what they could have done. In their day, there was no information on how to handle things, so they did their very best. But I still think they were exceptional, because secrecy just didn't exist for them. They believed we needed to know our roots, and they wanted to know too! You are really on the right track. I'm sure it is hard at times, but you sound like you cope so well.
I'm sorry I'm a bit inept when it comes to blogging on some posts - I don't know how to link my website with my name, so excuse me for noting it here!
I hope you don't mind...I've just linked your blog in my most recent post, Blogging makes friens of strangers.
Perfect, absolutely perfect.
(((Marlene)))
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