More (adoption) Conversations with a six year old.
BJ: Mom, what is arthritis?
Mar: It is a disease where your bones and joints hurt.
BJ: Is that what you have mom?
Mar: Yes.
BJ: Will I get arthritis?
Mar: Probably not honey, it doesn't run in your birthmother's family - that is good for you. Mammaw (grandmother)'s mother had it really bad in her hands and that is why she is so careful to eat right and excercise so she doesn't get it when she gets old.
BJ: But Mammaw still likes to have fun with me!
Mar: Yes She does?
BJ: Mom, do you have a birthmother?
Mar: No.
BJ: Why?
Mar. I was born to Grandma. A birthmother is when a lady has a baby , but she can't take care of a baby so she finds a mom and a dad for the baby. That's what adoption is.
Mar: So you get to have both a mom and a birthmother.
BJ: smile. Can she come live with us?
Mar: Well, she has her own place to live; plus she had a lot of problems with drugs and alcohol and her life was really messed up. That was why she couldn't take care of a baby. I really hope that she has been able to get some help and get better. I am sure by the time you are grown up she will be fine and you will be able to know her and we can all do things together if you want.
BJ: But you still won't like rollercoasters.
Mar: You are right, I don't like rollercoasters. But Daddy does, and maybe L does too - who knows. Then you would have two people to go on roller coasters with!
Mar: I am to find a place to send her a letter. Maybe we can get a picture and eventually find out if she likes rollercoasters.
BJ: Can we go to Toys R Us ?
Mar: It is a disease where your bones and joints hurt.
BJ: Is that what you have mom?
Mar: Yes.
BJ: Will I get arthritis?
Mar: Probably not honey, it doesn't run in your birthmother's family - that is good for you. Mammaw (grandmother)'s mother had it really bad in her hands and that is why she is so careful to eat right and excercise so she doesn't get it when she gets old.
BJ: But Mammaw still likes to have fun with me!
Mar: Yes She does?
BJ: Mom, do you have a birthmother?
Mar: No.
BJ: Why?
Mar. I was born to Grandma. A birthmother is when a lady has a baby , but she can't take care of a baby so she finds a mom and a dad for the baby. That's what adoption is.
Mar: So you get to have both a mom and a birthmother.
BJ: smile. Can she come live with us?
Mar: Well, she has her own place to live; plus she had a lot of problems with drugs and alcohol and her life was really messed up. That was why she couldn't take care of a baby. I really hope that she has been able to get some help and get better. I am sure by the time you are grown up she will be fine and you will be able to know her and we can all do things together if you want.
BJ: But you still won't like rollercoasters.
Mar: You are right, I don't like rollercoasters. But Daddy does, and maybe L does too - who knows. Then you would have two people to go on roller coasters with!
Mar: I am to find a place to send her a letter. Maybe we can get a picture and eventually find out if she likes rollercoasters.
BJ: Can we go to Toys R Us ?
posted by marlene at 3:51 PM
2 Comments:
oh, that was so sweet. so honest, so minimal, but age appropriate. big applause for you. thanks for sharing.
Thanks Suz. I don't know how much she really understands, but my hope is that if it is always a natural part of conversation, she will know that she can talk about L and/or her feelings about adoption whenever she wants.
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