Saturday, March 25, 2006

Confession

I did something when BJ was an infant that walks the borderline of ethics and legality.

Before our adoption was finalized, when legally I was just foster mom - though it was an adoption placement...

I went to the hospital where she was born and requested her medical records. I gave my real name and address and all, and under relationship - I put mother. I also gave them a copy of the custody documents that listed me as the foster parent. I doubt they looked that far.

They gave me the records. I gave them to my pediatrician. I have to go look and make sure now that I have a copy since we moved out of state, but I am pretty sure I do. If not, I will just request the medical records from the peds office - now I do have a right to those.

I also went online to vitalchek before the adoption and requested her birth certificate. Her original birth certificate. I knew full well once the adoption went through we would have enough trouble getting the new one and the original would vanish behind laws and regulations and sealed records.

I went on, put her information, again listed my real name but under relationship, I checked mother. I paid my fee and fedex fee and a week later I had it in my hands. It is filed away. I have no use for it. I wasn't trying to take anything away from L. But BJ will have it regardless of what the states say about open records. She won't have to fight that fight; not for herself anyway.

I don't regret it, though occasionally I used to feel a bit guilty. Reading so many adoptees blogs (I am a bit obsessed these days, another confession). I don't feel guilty anymore. As always, I was doing what I felt was best for BJ.

2 Comments:

Blogger Andromeda Jazmon said...

OMG you can do that? I never thought of that. Maybe I should do that quick before finalization...

6:06 AM  
Blogger marlene said...

While it is probably not ethical, many people also believe sealing the records isn't either. VitalChek doesn't seem to care, so as long as your conscience is OK with it, I say do it. I am certainly glad I have the OBC.

1:28 AM  

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