Confession

I did something when BJ was an infant that walks the borderline of ethics and legality.

Before our adoption was finalized, when legally I was just foster mom - though it was an adoption placement...

I went to the hospital where she was born and requested her medical records. I gave my real name and address and all, and under relationship - I put mother. I also gave them a copy of the custody documents that listed me as the foster parent. I doubt they looked that far.

They gave me the records. I gave them to my pediatrician. I have to go look and make sure now that I have a copy since we moved out of state, but I am pretty sure I do. If not, I will just request the medical records from the peds office - now I do have a right to those.

I also went online to vitalchek before the adoption and requested her birth certificate. Her original birth certificate. I knew full well once the adoption went through we would have enough trouble getting the new one and the original would vanish behind laws and regulations and sealed records.

I went on, put her information, again listed my real name but under relationship, I checked mother. I paid my fee and fedex fee and a week later I had it in my hands. It is filed away. I have no use for it. I wasn't trying to take anything away from L. But BJ will have it regardless of what the states say about open records. She won't have to fight that fight; not for herself anyway.

I don't regret it, though occasionally I used to feel a bit guilty. Reading so many adoptees blogs (I am a bit obsessed these days, another confession). I don't feel guilty anymore. As always, I was doing what I felt was best for BJ.