Monday, April 23, 2007

Every Day Life overcomes Worries

Thanks Third Mom and Overwhelmed. Sometimes times sleeping on it eases things. I appreciate the support, and I did pause to think if I am rushing bed time too much. See, we do have story time and chatting and the same bedtime story each night. The fuss is getting up there, and then sometimes (it goes in spurts) after I have left with night lights glowing, its back down the stairs with every excuse and glass of water, and fuss there is. Even so, sometimes just a regular old mom reality check in is helpful and I appreciate the suggestion.

I am taking a little extra time at bedtime and trying not to let my own tiredness show at the end of the day quite so much.

And as to the nobody wants me stuff, I am just trying to trust that all the days of I love my mommy from her, and me telling her how much I enjoyed doing this with her, and how much I love her, and the hanging out with daddy playing, and making dinner together and all that will somehow help. I know it does. That and I am hanging on the fact that she can tell me, and we can affirm the feeling and/or challenge incorrect thinking together - its got to be the best we can do.

So regular mothering and also I am reading adoptees whereever I can to see what they recall from their childhood - what healed and comforted, what was well intended but not helpful.

Thursday, April 19, 2007


Tonght during a fairly routine battle over the bedtime, BJ in a rush of excuses about why she was fussing over going to sleep said - No one wants me!

Of course I immediately corrected her - that's not true!, just as I do when she occaisonally says "I am stupid" when she has made a mistake or a poor behavior choice. I correct her, admonish her not to say that because its not true. She is 7, she is learning; sometimes she makes choices that are not right (choosing to stomp up the stairs and scream, you are mean! when I have told her she can not watch another TV show and must go brush her teeth and put on her pajamas)

But I am worried about the lurking self esteem issues. I am stupid is very worrisome in itself - but somehow I feel I can counteract that one. No one wants me, that scares me - that is not a logical conclusion (however wrong the stupid one is, it is directly tied to the feeling of not achieving or knowing something - it can be challenged, redirected, demystified) but not being wanted - thats pure emotion, pure self image.

It scares me. I worry for her.